Eighteen in ASIA? Christmas in Paradise?

This past week held many big events. Yes, I'm happy to say that last Wednesday, the 21st, I turned 18 years old. The general public would normally ask,

My third and fourth graders through me a birthday party,
 two weeks premature...
It's the thought that counts.

"Does it feel any different?"
Well, of course not. It hasn't really even sunken in. It has, however, come in handy when my dad told me that I was grounded for not answering his skype call. I told him that I'm an adult now and I don't have to listen to him anymore(yeah right) at which point in time, he cracked up. What can I say? I'm "daddy's little girl" for life.
Unfortunately, I was sick in bed on my birthday. I was hit with a strand of the stomach flu which came complete with a pounding,disabling headache. I was however, able to go into school for a bit in the afternoon, and I was suprised with everyone singing "Happy Birthday" to me. The rest of the day, I spent parked on my couch with my roomie...its all I had energy for.

This party came complete with cake, ice cream,
and drinkable yogurt.

Fast forward four days and we have Christmas! Coming into this trip, I knew the hardest, most lonely times I would have would be around the holidays so I told myself that I would try to ignore them(here and afar) as much as I possibly could. I actually told myself that I was going to deactivate my facebook for a week so I didn't have to see everyone's merry Christmas posts.Well, they say hindsight is 20/20, and that rings true in this instance.
I did NOT stop using facebook, and I actually found it comforting to see everyone posting about Christmas, and what they gave and received and their thankfulness to God for sending His son. Watching Christmas unfold from a distance got me thinking.

They're the sweetest<3

With the absence if the normal hustle and bustle of the holiday season and of course, my family and close friends, I had to wonder if most of what makes Christmas "Christmas" to me are the temporary trappings of this world, rather than the sweet little babe who was sent to save us all. I've yet to come up with a definite answer, but I re-learned this year, that it really doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, Christmas is about a spirit of peace and joy, that is brought about with the realization that God so loved us that He sent his only son to die so that we could live. It's not about a holiday where people spend exponential amounts of money so that they can do the same exact thing next year, and its not even about all of the parties and get togethers with people that you love. I sure learned that from being 3,000 miles away.
So, did it feel like Christmas to me? In the way it feels at home, no. But in a way, I feel like I really experienced what Christmas is supposed to feel like. 
I wouldn't have chosen to spend my Christmas the way I did, or even in the place that I did, but I'm glad that for just this one time, I was able to take a step back and realize what Christmas is truly about.

Two and a Half Months Already?

Time is literally flying here. I think I'm too busy to notice when the months change because really, I don't know how its already November!

Quick update: Everything is going great! I love living here and being on my own and being independent (especially cleaning,grocery shopping, and cooking...who would have thought?)
      I go by "Miss Carter" these days.  My students are wonderful, really, they are a joy to work with and I love teaching them. Its tiring and tough at times, but they make it so worth it. They're enthusiatic about learning and trying new things which makes it unbelievably easy to show and teach them things.
My dance classes are going very well. I've had four little boys now, express interest and attend my classes which is more exciting than you might think.
Speaking of dance, my studio is underway and should be finished by the end of this week(YAY!) and I seriously cannot wait get back into the studio to blow off this two months worth of steam. I'm hopelessy out of shape.
I was recently blessed with a bicycle that I ride pretty much everywhere. It was definitely an adjustment, navigating this country where traffic laws count for little to nothing, but I'm slowly but surely getting the hang of it. Plus, I'm grateful for the exercise.
That's about it for an update. Before I know it, it will be time to update on month 3.All I can say is that God has blessed me this amazing experience in this amazing country, and He's surrounded me with amazing people.
I miss you, Mom and Dad. I miss America, but not enough to stop what I'm doing here... it's far too important.

~Tammy #blessed

One month down....Eight more to go!

Yesterday was my one month anniversary of leaving the states...and oh what a whirlwind it's been!
The first couple of weeks I was really just getting adjusted to life and the time change over here and getting settled into my apartment. After that, I was getting used to having a roomate and cooking and keeping up with the house work and then the week after that, school started. And it all just went downhill from there.... No I'm totally just kidding.

As I shared before, teaching gave me a sense of purpose. Even though I knew that I needed the time to adjust, I was wishing that I could just jump into my work because it was almost discouraging in a way. I literally had to lay around thanks to my buddy jetlag and I felt so helpless in a way. I jsut wanted to go and do and start educating these little angels so finally when school started it was like a breath of fresh air. I felt at home and in my element.

Anyways, this one month has been very eye opening in many ways. I've learned about the world and different cultures(not just Cambodia) and I've seen and experienced so much already!
 I've been realizing alot of things about myself and changing in alot of different ways. I've definitely been learning to be content and thankful whatever the circumstances may be-something I've always sttruggled with-. God has been tugging and pulling and little by little, shaping me into a new and better person.

I don't really know or feel that Cambodia is my final destination. I'm sure I'll return here many more times in my life but I just don't get the feeling that this is God has called me to stay for a longer amount of time than I've already committed to. Rather, I see this trip as a chapter in the book of my life.... a side trip that will teach me things and let me experience things that I'll use during the rest of my journey through life. 

Cambodia has been great so far and I'm sure it will only get better. I'm looking forward to end of my trip when I'm back in the safe and loving arms of my family and I'll be able to look back and see and remember all I experienced, but until then, I intend to just enjoy this chapter of my life.

The essence of Cambodia



This field is soon to be turned into an apartment building

Previous to arriving here, I imagined and envisioned Cambodia to be dirty, and war-torn, and extremely poor, only to find when I got here that that is not so. Cambodia is developing faster than a flu virus. The government is a benevolent dictatorship which allows for the people to create business(literally anywhere and doing anything) and to be as capitalistic as their hearts desire.
It really is beautiful here...yes, there are still parts of the city where you see the remnants of the Khmer Rouge but they are isolated and actually much cleaner than they once were.
At the same time, don't think that its a sparkling metropolis that tourists flock to...Cambodia has a certain charm that some say it's losing but the heart of the country and its citizens is slow to change. The people love their king and they seem to love eachother. There's a definite spirit of comraderie among the natives as if they can all relate to one another and so they do. I find it very hard to dislike anyone or anything because their smiling faces emanate true happiness and appreciation. These people know what brokeness and depravity really is, so now that they are beginning to experience prosperity and even surplus, they realize what a gift it is. Being on this side of it, I see how spoiled and ungrateful America is. Maybe we need to experience want so we can be thankful for wealth.

Its a truly unique city because you could have a $200,000(thats alot here!) villa next to an abandoned lot. Wealth and poverty are almost a beautiful contrast in some places. Its as if its symbolically picturing where the country has been and where it is now going.

Even though it looks dirty and depressed here, people have businesses and are able to at least support their families.

This is the view from the top of my apartment

"Motos" are ALWAYS everywhere.

Cambodia's first overpass.

Government building.

A Labour of love

I made it through my first week of school!Today marked the last day of the first week of school and all I can say is,"I love my job." It really only feels like a job in the sense that I have to get up at a certain time and dress according to certain standards, otherwise, its really just good plain fun.
This week, we let the kids enjoy themselves. We had endless coloring-but educational-sheets. They played games and everyday we had a set movie time in the theatre. They really just got to know the surroundings of our campus and get familiar with their peers. As for the teachers, we each had a group made up of different age groups and grades which made for a diverse array of personalities and stages of childhood.  We got to get to know the kids. We were able to evaluate them throughout the week based on their responses to the different activities that we did.
I may be biased when I say this, but I had a group of 11 angels. I would just look at them and smile because they are so stinking adorable. When I looked at them, I felt truly content. I didn't dread the long hours of the school day, I looked for ways to fill them for the enjoyment of my students...because when they enjoyed something, I was happy. It was an amazing feeling and like I said, it didn't feel like work. I t just feels right, like its where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing.  I'm truly blessed to be here.

There's a verse in the second chapter of Philippians that says, "Offering the word of life; that I may have glory in the day of Christ, because my running was not for nothing and my work was not without effect." and it popped into my head this week on numerous occasions, because I realized that throughout these nine months, my life will be touching the lives of each student. In fact, I believe it already has.

One of the students in my class was Vibol(pronounced, we ball) and he, I'm sorry, had to have been my favorite. He has this adorable smile and his eyes almost disappear when he giggles. He's the kind of kid that you wish EVERY kid was like. He has this litle voice that just melts your heart and a sweet, innocent heart and impeccable manners. Really, he is just an angel in a school uniform. Anyways, I had the chance to talk with his father about how smart and advanced Vibol is for being a five year old in second grade. His father thanked me and smiled but then he told me,"Vibol always encourages me to pray about everything...All the time."
That as the highlight of my week. Its just amazing to me that a five year old child could very wel be responsible for the salvation of his parents and family and all because he attends a school that teaches him how to love God. And I just so happen to teach at that school. God is just so good.
The whole concept behind our school is to educate(and hopefully save) the wealthy children of Cambodia(who have parents in influential positions) that will grow up into the leaders of this country and Vibol's story obviously proves that my work, OUR work, has an effect. I pray that all of my students lives are changed and they change the lives of their respective families.

As I said, this isn't a job to me...at least its not dreadful like a job. I'm having fun and falling in love at the same time. I love what I do and I love Cambodia. #trulyblessed.

Missing Home

I've been in this beautiful country for two weeks now...It really feels like I've been here forever but maybe thats because I've adapted to the culture and life-changes very well. I do miss home but I really try not to think about it. If my mind wanders to my parents or my siblings...or even my adorable nephew, I try to think of something else right away, not because I don't want to think about them, but because if I do, it may be unbearable to stay here for the nine months I've committed to.
This week has been alot of preparation for the school year. School begins on Monday and I know that once its underway, I'll have little time to think or wonder about whats going on back home. Don't get me wrong, I love it here and I know what amazing things God will do through my hands but this year was a great sacrifice for me and something is only a sacrifice it its difficult to give up. Right now I'm feeling the difficulty of giving up my family and dear friends at home....But that's why God gives grace, so we can do the things He has called us to do. When they're inconvenient. And sacrificial. And sometimes crazy. He will never give us more than we can handle. He hasn't given ME more than I can handle. I'm excited for the days ahead when I get to meet the seventy beautiful students that will be like my little siblings for the next year.
I thank God for this opportunity because I know, afterwards, my life will never be the same(and I'll have some great stories to tell!)
Pray for me, please. As I said, its not easy being away from my family. Miss you guys<3
Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want."

Check out the food

So, before I came here, I heard literal horror stories about the food. Veterans of my beautiful Campuchea told how everyday, rice would be served with a mysterious sauce covering it. They told how the smells and sites would turn ones stomach to the point of nausea. Well, I'm here to set the record straight...durian, is the ONLY thing that will do that to you. Ok, maybe not the only thing but I'm biased. I've been eating in the best western and most safe -from the "smells and sites" I spoke of previously-Cambodian restaurants or in my gorgeous apartment with a top class, cook(my roomie:), so I guess I'm really not authority on the issue....but one thing I know for sure, if you want to eat well here, you can. Here are the pictures to prove it:]

My first breakfast here...it was supposed to be a vegetable omelet but instead, I got vegetables on the side of my omelet...Let's say something got lost in translation.

The restaurant we ate at is called"One More"(don't have a clue why) but its very popular for breakfast. Cambodian tradition is to go out to breakfast with your family. Take the hint, America!

It's a really neat setup at One More...there are little cabanas lining the walls and the center-which you're seeing- is set up like a normal restaurant.

Fresh bread, served with breakfast.(To all you Pittsburghers- it wasn't quite Mancini's but it WAS good:)

This would be at "Shop Too"(again, I don't know the reasoning behind the name) which is a quaint, organic western restaurant. This has been my favorite place,  thus far.

This is a chicken and guacamole panini...it was absolutely delicious.

Bubble tea!!!

Rice....served with just about every meal.

Cafe Frappe from my second favorite restaurant, the S Cafe.(good news, its right down the street and they deliver to my apartment!!)

Shrimp fried rice from the S Cafe.

Self explanatory and a chorus in my heart...American food!!:]

"Waikiki burger"(it had a slice of pineapple on it) It tasted as good as it looks...I did,however, miss Heinz ketchup.

I ordered apple juice, and thats exactly what I got, a juiced apple.

My first Cambodian pizza! I had mine with pineapple and ham...and chili sauce. Residents put chili sauce on just about everything. All in all, it was pretty good. Even better, Tuesdays and Fridays is buy one get one free at Pizza World!


So doesn't it look good? Told you.
Tonight me and my roomie are making shrimp fried rice...I'll let you know how it goes...or maybe I'll show you:]

And so the journey begins!

His Ways are Higher Than Ours...

     Last December, about two weeks before my birthday, I had a doctor's appointment which allowed for me and my mom to take a day off of school. I showed up at the appointment and had a few tests and injections and was then told that I could leave for about two hours and come back for further testing. To fill the gap in our day, my mom and I visited one of our favorite thrift stores with little expectation of actually finding something worth buying. We shouldn't have counted our perverbial chickens before they hatched.We ended up finding an adorable 5-piece, vintage luggage set. Who would have thought that that purchase set my whole future in motion.


     In October 2010, I was a month into my senior year and like a horse with blinders, I had my eye on the "prize." I was determined to be ready to go to college for dance in the upcoming fall semester. That plan was cut real short by an injury that disabled me to dance for an entire four months.
     During that long,and quite boring , four month period, God spoke to my heart.He showed me alot of things about myself and what he expected of me. He showed me that I may have my ideas of what my life, post-graduation, should be but that His plan prevails. If I were smart I would have simply read and applied Proverbs 19:21 but as usual, I made my life more complicated than it needed to be. I was so stressed out because I had no clue what I'd be doing in the fall and of course every person I'd talk would ask. I came up blank every time and it freaked me out because I always have to know what I'm doing before I do it and when God had to literally sit me down and refocus my whole perspective on life. He used that time to build my trust and reliance in Him.


     That brings us up to February. It was evident to me that my dance major was completely out of the question and I needed to look to other options. The first thing that presented itself was the Silver Ring Thing Tour Team. [ http://www.silverringthing.com/nationalteam.asp ] The team entailed traveling the country for nine months, all the while, promoting sexual abstinence among teens. I was so excited at the prospect of doing something so admirable and downright awesome! I was convinced that because I wasn't even applying for college that this was what God had for me. I was also able to give people an answer.
     The second thing that presented itself was a summer missions trip to Cambodia. I would leave right after graduation and return in time to train for tour. It was the perfect plan and I just knew it would work out. Again, I shouldn't have counted my perverbial chickens before they hatched.My application for the team was denied.
At that point, I wasn't discouraged or stressed. I drew from the well of trust that God built up in me earlier in the year. Then option three presented itself...
 
     It was a typical Sunday morning. My mom was driving me and my sister to church and we were just having a casual conversation when the topic of my going to Cambodia popped up. I protested and told them that, "I'll never go to Cambodia...I'm not that kind of person!" The subject was then dropped, leaving all of us a bit contemplative.
      Next thing I knew, My Pastor announced that we needed teachers at our school in Cambodia. She described what it would be like and how, if we chose to go, we would get there. She told the congregation how the school operated and where the teachers in question would stay, and at that moment, I knew that's what I'd be doing. Something quickened in my spirit and I knew that I just made one of the most important decisions that I ever would.

      Just today I watched a movie about "divine intervention" and the path of a person's life. It was thought provoking and it made me think on my own life and how God manifests in everything I've done or will do. The plot of the movie revolved around a man and how things should happen in life...but then the "plan" is suddenly changed and he goes through things and meets people that he wasn't supposed to. It displayed how everything comes full circle. How everything we do, in some small way, connects. How every person we know or meet, has some sort of impact on us. How we almost know when something monumnetal is going to happen.

"People often ask me what my plans are, post graduation. For probably about 75% of last year I worried and tossed and turned over that question because I honestly had no clue. And guess what...i still don't. The only difference now is I'm okay with it. I'm not as worried as I am much as curious. I'm not as scared as much as I am anxious. Yes, there are defnitely things i want to do with my life and I will.. eventually. 2011 for me, is about learning to let go. Not of responsibility -or sanity- rather of me. I,for so long, let myself get in the way of the things that God was doing or speaking into my life. Because I didn't see the big picture i couldn't trust.. this year I want to live recklessly and let god have His way. I want to live this year passionately and whole heartedly without a crutch of fear or stress,
A toast,so to speak, to easy, free living in 2011. Now let's see where He takes me..."

     I wrote that^ in a blog on December 31, 2010 at 11:30 not knowing where I'd go but fully trusting that the Lord would get me there and look at me now. I'm moving to Cambodia.I'm gettig to dance every single day. I'm getting to use my gifts and be surrounded by people who love me and who are wholeheartedly serving God and sacrificing their lives for Him. Is that incredible or what?

     I leave in 10 short days. I'm not too sure what to expect. I don't know what struggles I'll face, but I do know that I'm never alone and I don't need a plan because His plan prevails regardless of what I plan.

So my journey begins. Now lets see where he takes me...