Last December, about two weeks before my birthday, I had a doctor's appointment which allowed for me and my mom to take a day off of school. I showed up at the appointment and had a few tests and injections and was then told that I could leave for about two hours and come back for further testing. To fill the gap in our day, my mom and I visited one of our favorite thrift stores with little expectation of actually finding something worth buying. We shouldn't have counted our perverbial chickens before they hatched.We ended up finding an adorable 5-piece, vintage luggage set. Who would have thought that that purchase set my whole future in motion.
In October 2010, I was a month into my senior year and like a horse with blinders, I had my eye on the "prize." I was determined to be ready to go to college for dance in the upcoming fall semester. That plan was cut real short by an injury that disabled me to dance for an entire four months.
During that long,and quite boring , four month period, God spoke to my heart.He showed me alot of things about myself and what he expected of me. He showed me that I may have my ideas of what my life, post-graduation, should be but that His plan prevails. If I were smart I would have simply read and applied Proverbs 19:21 but as usual, I made my life more complicated than it needed to be. I was so stressed out because I had no clue what I'd be doing in the fall and of course every person I'd talk would ask. I came up blank every time and it freaked me out because I always have to know what I'm doing before I do it and when God had to literally sit me down and refocus my whole perspective on life. He used that time to build my trust and reliance in Him.
That brings us up to February. It was evident to me that my dance major was completely out of the question and I needed to look to other options. The first thing that presented itself was the Silver Ring Thing Tour Team. [ http://www.silverringthing.com/nationalteam.asp ] The team entailed traveling the country for nine months, all the while, promoting sexual abstinence among teens. I was so excited at the prospect of doing something so admirable and downright awesome! I was convinced that because I wasn't even applying for college that this was what God had for me. I was also able to give people an answer.
The second thing that presented itself was a summer missions trip to Cambodia. I would leave right after graduation and return in time to train for tour. It was the perfect plan and I just knew it would work out. Again, I shouldn't have counted my perverbial chickens before they hatched.My application for the team was denied.
At that point, I wasn't discouraged or stressed. I drew from the well of trust that God built up in me earlier in the year. Then option three presented itself...
It was a typical Sunday morning. My mom was driving me and my sister to church and we were just having a casual conversation when the topic of my going to Cambodia popped up. I protested and told them that, "I'll never go to Cambodia...I'm not that kind of person!" The subject was then dropped, leaving all of us a bit contemplative.
Next thing I knew, My Pastor announced that we needed teachers at our school in Cambodia. She described what it would be like and how, if we chose to go, we would get there. She told the congregation how the school operated and where the teachers in question would stay, and at that moment, I knew that's what I'd be doing. Something quickened in my spirit and I knew that I just made one of the most important decisions that I ever would.
Just today I watched a movie about "divine intervention" and the path of a person's life. It was thought provoking and it made me think on my own life and how God manifests in everything I've done or will do. The plot of the movie revolved around a man and how things should happen in life...but then the "plan" is suddenly changed and he goes through things and meets people that he wasn't supposed to. It displayed how everything comes full circle. How everything we do, in some small way, connects. How every person we know or meet, has some sort of impact on us. How we almost know when something monumnetal is going to happen.
"People often ask me what my plans are, post graduation. For probably about 75% of last year I worried and tossed and turned over that question because I honestly had no clue. And guess what...i still don't. The only difference now is I'm okay with it. I'm not as worried as I am much as curious. I'm not as scared as much as I am anxious. Yes, there are defnitely things i want to do with my life and I will.. eventually. 2011 for me, is about learning to let go. Not of responsibility -or sanity- rather of me. I,for so long, let myself get in the way of the things that God was doing or speaking into my life. Because I didn't see the big picture i couldn't trust.. this year I want to live recklessly and let god have His way. I want to live this year passionately and whole heartedly without a crutch of fear or stress,
A toast,so to speak, to easy, free living in 2011. Now let's see where He takes me..."
I wrote that^ in a blog on December 31, 2010 at 11:30 not knowing where I'd go but fully trusting that the Lord would get me there and look at me now. I'm moving to Cambodia.I'm gettig to dance every single day. I'm getting to use my gifts and be surrounded by people who love me and who are wholeheartedly serving God and sacrificing their lives for Him. Is that incredible or what?
I leave in 10 short days. I'm not too sure what to expect. I don't know what struggles I'll face, but I do know that I'm never alone and I don't need a plan because His plan prevails regardless of what I plan.
So my journey begins. Now lets see where he takes me...
