Seven Months and Me Time

So today is my seven month "anniversary" of leaving the states. I know, I can't believe it either... but I say that every month. Today, I'm sitting in one of my favorite spots, a quaint, little French/ Belgian restaurant that serves healthy, but tasty, food. As I sit here, I here many languages and see at least 4 different nationalities. I've so appreciated the diversity of travel. I never expected to see all that I have. My mind decided that Cambodia was full of Cambodians. WRONG. I am alone, but because of my own choice. I decided that today was going to be all about me. Being in the mission field, you give and give of yourself but sometimes you forget that YOU are important too. Henceforth, my taking this lovely Sunday afternoon to be 100% selfish....just this once.

 It has been such a whirlwind, surreal, challenging, enlightening, mindblowing journey, thus far. I haven't been able to accurately put into words how I've felt, or changed, or grown, but I know it in my heart. I know from hindsight that A.) nothing is too hard. Nothing is impossible. B.) No one can limit you but you. I guess some people wouldn't expect that these are the things you'd learn in a third world country, but everyone's different, I guess.
When I got here, I had a very limmited viewpoint of the world... as I've already said. I also, apparently, had a very limited viewpoint of my life. I saw the things that I'd done in the past and determined that my future would pretty much be the same. I had predetermined that I was going to feel completely homesick and that this nine months would be a real stretch... but I couldn't have been more wrong. Yes, at times it has been difficult and at times, I've wanted to go home, but it was never to the point that I seriously considered it. I limited myself, my life, when all there really was was a world(at least country) of opportunity.

Each month has meant something different. Month one: "I love it here. I can see myself staying for a long time." Month two: "What was I thinking. There is no way I can stay here for nine months....I want my Mommy!" Month three: "Okay, I've got to just do this. There is no choice. Suck it up, Baby." Month four:" I think I can, I think I can." Month five: "I'm on the downward slope. UGH.. I don't know if I can do this." Month six: "Its six months, already?! I can't believe it. Only three 1/2 more months til I go home! *enter constant waves of excitement.* Month seven. "Wow, the time has really flown. I can't believe there's only two more months until I go home...I'm actually sad. I've built a life here, a good one. It's going to be hard to leave this behind. Home is going to seem so weird. I wonder how much adjusting I'll have to do. Everyone's proabably changed. I'm going to feel like an outsider in my own home. I hope life goes back to normal. I hope I'm able to seemlessly resume where I left. *inward sigh* I'm so torn between sadness and excitement."

I haven't written near as much as I originally wanted...there simply hasn't been time. I want to try to write at least once a week for the rest of my trip...thats only 10 more weeks:DDDDDD

<3Tammy Rose

Oh, Happy April Fools:p